oh my god HELP. 

I don't know what's wrong with me, I have the worst case of writer's block I've had in...well, a long time. I've got two WIPs right now and they're both stories I would like to finish before I go back to school (although before the end of july would be preferable) but I just...can't. and then there's my shinee big bang, which is such a monstrosity that I kind of want to beg the mods not to post it although that would be cruel since the deadline is so close. ugh. 

the first WIP made me freak out last night because it was 3000 words and (it's an au) no one in the band had met yet, which was...alarming. so I started cutting it down, but it's frustrating and I'm just a bit stuck. the second one is completely self-indulgent uni!het!fluff, which you'd think would mean I'd just roll it out happily, but I guess you could say shinee is kind of my niche fandom for writing, so whenever I attempt to write for other fandoms I get really nervous. like, I'll just sit there thinking OH MY GOD WHAT IF I BOTCH THIS CHARACTERIZATION AND ALL OF SUJU/SNSD/WHATEVER FANDOM OSTRACIZES ME D8. sad, I know, especially given that I don't have much reason to be secure in shinee fandom anyway. the point is, if you can help/encourage me, please do. 

in news other than my fanfic-related woes: I got my macbook, and I have enough money from graduation/birthday checks to hopefully last me a while in college. I found a juicy couture dress for $30 and a primp hoodie for $10, so thank you, plato's closet, but they wouldn't take any of the clothes I brought in in a huge heavy laundry basket, so fuck you, plato's closet. I felt better, though, after I bought materials for/made three nautical necklaces and got served an m&m blondie and a strawberry banana smoothie by some of the nicest/cutest starbucks workers ever. seriously, they were so joyful and easygoing. 

apparently someone name-dropped me in a hate meme (ironically enough) for having good!fic, so thank you, anonymous person. it's so flattering that someone would like my fic enough to tell other people about it. <3

a while back I got my hair cut like tiffany (her short hair from itnw/girls' generation/kissing you), although thanks to shitty humidity and my being too lazy to style it, it rarely looks...like tiffany's hair. but something magical happened on my birthday, and with minimal styling, despite humidity, it looked...exactly right. 8D see, I can prove it! ...after I realized it, I took a picture in the restaurant bathroom. my ridiculousness, let me show you it.


( WARNING: katie's face under the cut )

in other news, I have ~money~, ohohohoho. And I intend on saving it for college spending money, but yesasia just keeps tempting me. :\

 So I started learning snsd's dances as one of the many coexisting plans for ~getting fit~ and the weird thing is that...dancing to gee, once you know it, is really, REALLY addictive. like, I'm not a dancer, but this dance makes me put on my heels in the wee hours of the night and wake up my parents crab leg it up. I honestly don't know how it's so addicting--I only did this because I really wanted to learn girls' generation, but gee's dance is like a virus. 

I was planning on learning genie as soon as it came out, but I'm looking at it right now and questioning if I'm capable. although I sobbed the first time I watched the gee dance version, so I guess we'll see. on the note of genie, bitches are fierce and the mv is slightly underwhelming but I have a huge soft spot for navy nautical nonsense (see: sailor venus, sailor kyuhyun, christina aguilera's candyman mv, yacht club), so I could really care less. 

I don't think I'll ever get over sorry sorry. that concept/album/mvs were just absolutely ace, and I'm pretty sure nothing will ever top it. although I can't decide if it's fortunate or unfortunate that kibum missed suju's best era (the only reason I'd say fortunate is because of his well-documented vocal fail and recent visual fail). really, can it just be their eternal concept? I'm sure no one would mind. 

kpop fangirling aside, I'm starting to worry a bit about scripps. I didn't get any financial aid, basically because while my parents aren't moneybags or anything they saved really responsibly, and I applied ed/wasn't smart enough to get merit scholarships, which just makes me feel like a burden. it doesn't help matters that no one seems to know what scripps is, which makes me feel like I'm going to a no-name school, and I did not go to imsa for that. also, I've met tons of other freshmen on facebook, and while some of them are really laid back a lot of them said they didn't care about grades and there were a couple girls talking about organizing a hookah bar trip. I hear the words 'hookah bar' and think of old fat eastern european men smoking cigars. >< like, not to be judging, but I'm the eight-year-old who teamed up with her older brother to bully their mom into quitting smoking. I also haven't met any kpop fans/sports fans/fashionistas, which worries me. if I go to another school filled with substance abusing indie kids I will have to stab myself. which is weird, because when I visited all the girls were really...normal and nice. hopefully I'll find normal people.

getting a macbook! excited :DDD although, since my relationship with this computer started out so roughly I want to shower it with lots of love. I'm considering giving it a name. suggestions? I also have the sims 3, though I'm saving it for the new computer so that I don't completely destroy this one. 

I'm writing fic, be scared, as always. 

IF YOU'RE WATCHING WIMBLEDON, RAISE YOUR HAND. ...if you're not, turn it on, and root for the two people pictured below: 

Dear Lee Sungmin,

Please use your wiles to get me a job. Any job will do, but preferably one where old men won't molest me. 

Love,
Katie (a fellow fan of pink things and pizza crusts)

 
I GRADUATED HOORAY :DDDD

now I get to spend my summer stalking fandom, taking part in fandom, watching espn, attempting to find a job, and...exercising.  ohoho, let's do this. 

LOL SHINEE'S COMEBACK IS DELAYED BECAUSE ONEW FELL ON THE STAIRS AND BROKE HIS TWO FRONT TEETH. (okay, ouch, I hope he gets better and that Jonghyun doesn't laugh at him too much and Key makes him lots of tofu soup. yummy.

...I love this band ;_____;

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY MOTHER FUCKING GOD.

fact: kyuhyun should always take off his clothes in music videos.
fact: yesung's wardrobe should consist only of polos and suits.
fact: if kyuhyun, man of no emotions, can look sadder than you, you clearly have no acting career (kim kibum, I'm lookin' at you).

lgjdlkgjdfklgjfdgl. the end.

I demand taemin/minzy fic. now. please and thank you.

...now back to the history paper that is unfairly eating my second-semester senior soul. :|

korea in ten days :) the guide/person making sure we don't drink or do drugs/chaperone is my english teacher, who I have previously described to people as a younger tim gunn. it's kind of great, and he's pretty chill, I think, which is going to make things much simpler. the chaperones the last few years have been kind of crazy slavedrivers. I'm going to have to pack light, though, so I can bring lots of things back, not to mention I feel a lot of pressure to dress nicely, lol. can't walk around looking like geum jandi. :|

I am so torn on what to spend my money on though, other than...clothes and music. I just don't know what music I should break my back trying to find. I'm still shocked that I actually WANT to buy sorry sorry and not throw it against a wall or something. why didn't they distribute the solos this way when they debuted? or am I just like...the only person that appreciates more of yesung/kyuhyun/donghae singing and not....kibum. :| and, of course, I want the shinee world (though idk if I want it repackaged or not) and pieces and hot issue and...something dbsk. I know like...six different people who own mirotic, so it seems a bit silly to buy it myself, but idk what I'd get instead. maybe o. hmm.

school still annoys me but I'm surviving. I think at some point, I decided that I'll never see these people again in two months so I really don't care if they hate me. read: no, my annoying quadmates, I won't yell at you for the 4398549053th time to shut the fuck up, it's 1AM, I'll just...blast jizz in my pants. :( I think this makes me a bitch. oh well. hooray for graduating :)

so my school has an exchange program with the korea science academy and like a month ago I hosted one of their students. and, uh, then I applied to be part of my school's exchange to busan and...got it. 8D my parents were really :| about paying but it turns out that four of my really close friends also got picked (only six kids go) so I begged them and then it turned out to be less expensive than originally thought and by the grace of god I convinced them to let me go. so...yeah. in the beginning of april I am going to busan, south korea. dlkfjgfdlkg.

I really love exchanges and such, and it's two weeks long and in a big city with MOUNTAINS so I am terribly pleased. and of course, I'm excited to emulate those fearless asian fashionistas and buy a shitload of k-pop merchandise. it's going to be excellent.

in other news, as a second semester high school senior you'd expect me to like my school more and more and never want to leave, but instead I just find myself hating everything more. the little things that always used to bother me just sort of....enrage me now. all the couples making out in my living quarters, all the fake kids who only do activities to boost their harvard chances, the RAs that try to be your friends and fail pretty miserably, all the racism against whites (I could rant about this), the snooty underclassmen...it's just infuriating. I guess this school is just a place you survive and leave, and the only thing you'll ever really like are your friends. it's kind of depressing to think that I'm going to leave flipping the bird to my dorm instead of crying and clinging, though. but whatever.

move in to scripps on august 27. :)

And ESPN announcers that are paid several hundred thousand a year should, hmm, learn to pronounce the surname of Serbia's most famous man and the third ranked tennis player in the world correctly. This is why I'm going to become a tennis journalist and show these idiots how it's done.

Also, if Nole is dying of asthma/heatstroke, and the on-court temperature is 140 degrees Fahrenheit, shouldn't you, um, close the roof so he can continue to have a fair chance in the match? Just saying, Australia. wtf.

(sorry, this is rather angry.)

Dear Ana Ivanovic,
Please rush down there and save Nole from certain death. Or, you know, declare your love for him.
Love,
Katie

That is, I am a second semester senior as of this past Monday. Oh, happiness. 8D This is the least classes I've had in a semester all of high school, which I'm really excited about- just Calculus, Organic Chemistry, Creative Writing, International Relations, German, and Choir. It's also the latest I've been able to wake up--on two days my first class is at 9:35, and on the other days my first class is at 8:20. Sleep deprivation...goodbye. Except, you know, for those nights I stay up having dance parties in the last three weeks.

Today every school in the state got out except for mine. D: Yeah, yeah, we're a boarding school, but the water heaters froze and we couldn't even take warm showers. It was awful; I'm so glad I got to go home for the weekend and not have to deal with it...for three days. Guh.

In other exciting news, our school has a partnership with another overly intense high school in Korea, and five or six of their students arrived for a three-week stay on Thursday. More importantly, I get to take one home for a homestay. :DDDD At first it was really awkward because there are people at school who actually, hmm, speak Korean, and they were monopolizing all the foreign students so that I didn't get to talk to them much. But then once we got home everything was fine, so I'm really glad I signed up for it. And, you know, hopefully this shows my interest in going to Korea. :\ Although if I got picked, I'd have to start teaching myself Korean, since I hate going to countries and not being able to speak the language. I always feel so insensitive.

I didn't get any money form Scripps, so I'm paying full tuition. :(((( My guilt, let me show you it.

Not much else to say...I signed up for SHINee Big Bang, lol. I hope I can actually finish something.

Australian Open starts Sunday!! Nole! Ana! JJ! Rog! Maria! :)

Um...yeah. I have to say that I still don't really like the state of Florida. I mean, the warmth is wonderful, and the lack of school even better, but Florida's always struck me (no offense) as an uglier and less sophisticated version of California. It's frightening how conservative people are down here, and since the population is mostly over 60, I haven't really found a shop to buy nice things to my friends that I promised to get things from the Sunshine State.

My grandmother spends her winters down here, so we're staying with her, and there's a nice pool for me to lay by (and swim in) and I got a really amazing surprise when I discovered a wireless network I could mooch off of (hopefully the owner doesn't leave before I have to D:). But like all grandmothers, mine is notoriously critical (and snores, and goes to bed at 10, which is really just strange). I don't eat healthy enough, I'm not skinny enough (I rag on myself enough for this, and in all honesty I did my BMI and I'm fine), I'm not smart enough (this is where I restrain myself from making snotty comments about the cousin who is not as smart as his parents would like to think), and apparently I'm a doomed civilian because I would rather watch The Dark Knight than some foreign art film that got nominated for five Academy Awards (excuse me, but I enjoy films and books with significant plots). I have enough self-esteem issues on my own, thank you.

On a better note, Christmas. There's a part of me that wishes I would have asked for the SHINee desk calendar, but as a rule I don't ask my parents to buy me anything Asian (never have, for some reason I feel like they'll either ridicule me or declare me a freak of nature). However, I have a scarf which very much resembles the one Yesung wears in the Han Sarammaneul video (Don't judge me, don't you dare judge me), which makes me happy. Oh, and some nice clothes and whatnot.

So far, while writing this entry, my connection has died three times. lol. Oh and a heron just flew by. If there's one thing I like about Florida, they have really weird birds.

PSA: I really suck at writing DBSK fic. It makes no sense to me either.

Squeezed in between pictures of Yesung and Novak Djokovic and other residents of my metaphorical closet is a countdown to how many days I have until first semester of senior year is over. It currently stands at...17. Which really isn't that bad, except for the whole thing with finals and projects and papers and whatnot. I think I might survive, you know: One paper, one final that doesn't really count, a presentation, an in-class exam, another final, and a project? Maybe I won't die? Maybe? Praying to end-of-semester gods now.

Of course, rewarding me from dying is the (hopefully, knock on wood now) college acceptance letters coming my way mid-December, and a trip to Florida to communicate with manatees, tan, swim, and whore up the local internet cafe for my own sanity. Or maybe they have a Panera by now, because that's free and I have a gift card for food. mmmm.

In other exiciting news, I have officially given back to fandom! Hooray, I'm no longer another stalker. Apparently SHINee inspires me: I've written some fic (all posted to chagrinning ) and planning on writing more, you know, when this whole 17 days thing blows over. Surprisingly, people appear to like the things I write, which I am eternally grateful for. Knowing I don't fail and actually know my way around fandom after six months is always good. :) I might get the confidence to (gasp!) comment on the fics of others, especially those people whose fics I've been stalking since...entry into fandom. D: Yeah, I will start doing that. Okay we can? 

LOL PLAXICO BURRESS. I wish there were pictures online of him clubbing that I could macro, which is probably mean and all, but come on. You're injured, so you go clubbing instead of, you know, resting the injury. And then you bring a gun...and accidentally shoot your OWN LEG. You're asking for it, really, even if I owe your team an eternal debt for beating the devils Patriots. Actually, he had nothing to do with Manning-to-Tyree, so he's probably excluded from the eternal debt as is. Just...being a sportswriter is going to require me learning to not crack up in the middle of press conferences about incidents like this. I guess I have five more years to learn to bite my tongue.